The Lindsay Brothers

Tag: South America

  • The Lost World

    Extraordinary
    Adventure
    82

    Let us be very clear about one thing: This essay has nothing to do with Steven Spielberg. His Jurassic Park sequel, also called The Lost World, shares the title merely as homage, because his movie shares some of the same subject matter as Arthur Conan Doyle’s 1912 novel. Namely, little girl gymnastics.

    Jurassic Park The Lost World
    Also dinosaurs.

    Besides, Jurassic Park The Lost World may be one of the weakest movies in the Spielberg pantheon, a clear case of the director phoning it in (literally. I’ve heard that Spielberg actually directed some segments via video conferencing). Half the time, they aren’t even bothering to create anything new.

    See, there used to be a place called “Jurassic Park” where dinosaurs roamed an island. This island was abandoned at the end of the movie. So in Jurassic Park II, Spielberg introduces the idea of a “Site B,” a sort of backup system for the original Jurassic Park. Seriously, this is their sequel idea. They might as well have had the first movie turn out to be Bob Newhart’s dream.

    Ending of Newhart
    Way funnier than a T-Rex rampage

    It actually does feature a cool action sequence involving an RV, a cliff, a T-Rex, and breaking glass. But then it destroys itself by having Ian Malcolm’s daughter use her parallel bars routine to defeat the velociraptors. Any way, go watch Schindler’s List instead. And don’t feel too sorry for Spielberg. I have a feeling that by the time this list is over, you’re going to be sick of hearing about him.

    Now that we’ve spent several paragraphs emphasizing that this is not about Spielberg, let me tell you what it’s really about. Dinosaurs. The Lost World is about a plateau in the middle of the Amazon basin where dinosaurs still walk the earth. Completely trapped and unable to break free of their humdrum existence, the dinosaurs teach themselves to hunt, build shelters, and spell out messages for passing airplanes. But of course, they must also survive the tribe of ape-men who are warring with another tribe of regular men that also live on the plateau.

    The Lost World Movie Poster
    How did they get him back on such a small bus?

    If this sounds like the plot of last year’s Academy Award winning animated movie Up, it’s only because the guys at Pixar are huge Arthur Conan Doyle fans. Same goes for the makers of King Kong, The Land of the Lost, The Planet of the Apes, even John Carter of Mars. The plot is derivative now, but back when A.C.D. was churning out the pages of his serial novel, this kind of stuff was fresh and new.

    Disney Pixar's Up
    Birds instead of dinos and talking dogs instead of ape-men.

    I won’t bore you with the names of the party of explorers who make their way to the Lost World in order to bring back proof of its existence. Let’s just say that its leader is named Professor Challenger (that should tell you all you need to know). After surviving the dinos and joining the natives and defeating the ape-men, the party escapes via a secret tunnel and goes back to civilization, bringing along a baby pterodactyl, which promptly falls off the Empire State Building flies away.

    Arthur Conan Doyle would resurrect the Professor Challenger character for several more stories, but had a hard time topping this one. Nevertheless, it’s pretty clear that if there were a League of Adventurers, Arthur Conan Doyle would be a charter member. It seems he’s got every aspect covered. Not only did he write tales of expeditions into uncharted jungles, he pretty much invented the modern mystery novel with his Sherlock Holmes stories.

    Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
    "Don't bother me, I'm busy inventing yet another genre."

    He also has the “magic” angle, having been friends with Harry Houdini, whom he was convinced used real magic and not illusions. He was a member of The Ghost Club, investigating paranormal occurrences for legitimacy, and to top it all off, he was himself a knight, so there wasn’t much you could throw in his face.

    Sadly, we do not allow life stories of real people to make the list of Extraordinary Adventures, so we’ll just have to be content with the traditional old lost dinosaur / warring ape-men story. Deal with it.

    Next up, #81.

    The Lost World Triceratops
    Triceratops are the only dinosaurs with a sense of humor.

  • The Mission

    Extraordinary
    Adventure
    91

    If you were to just read the title The Mission you might assume that it’s about Jean-Claude Van Damme being forced to enter an illegal underground martial arts tournament and eventually triumphing to earn his glory. But you would be wrong. That film was titled The Quest, which is close. And in fact approximately 5 years earlier when it first came out it was called Bloodsport. Instead though, The Mission is actually just a story about a Mission. Like, mission as in a place.

    Forty Points if you can tell me if this is from Bloodsport or The Quest.

    The epic grandeur of the movie The Mission is due a lot to the ridiculous beauty of South America, but its watchability derives a lot of its power from the performances of Robert De Niro and Jeremy Irons. They are both master actors and it shows here. Too often master actors are bored and so they get what they like to think of as … “creative.” If you need an example of this, look no further than Johnny Depp’s post Jack Sparrow performances whereby he tried to play Willy Wonka as Michael Jackson.

    Or the time he played the Mad Hatter as Belatrix Lestrange.

    Its almost as if, for those whose talent comes naturally to them, they insist on their talent being something more than talent. In an effort to emphasize the level of hard work and determination they put into their jobs, Great Actors sometimes get a bit … how shall I say … weird. Both DeNiro and Irons have been known to do this. Because the script by Robert Bolt gives them both something to play, however, they don’t have time to create funny gerbil voices and the like. Both of them are “Method” actors but at least here it doesn’t hinder them this may also be due to the fact that it’s hard to make Jesuit priests glib and hip.

    Whatever you do, don't smile.

    Robert De Niro plays a character who (almost justifiably) kills his own brother and is so torn up about it (even though his brother kinda had it coming), that he becomes a Jesuit monk. This would seem like punishment enough, but as even further punishment he has to hang around with Jeremy Irons for the rest of the movie. Also because the titular Mission is located atop the stunning Iguaza falls, De Niro (again as penance for killing his brother–who deserved it) must climb to the top carrying a heavy bundle of supplies. Much like Santa must do every Christmas.

    One of the monks, played by the ever-awesome Liam Neeson, has pity on him and cuts it away from him as he struggles to climb the treacherous mountain pass. To his great astonishment De Niro just ties the bundle back on his back and continues to climb the mountain until he reaches the top where he is forced to enlist in an illegal martial arts tournament for the souls of the native children (not really).

    He eventually develops a great rapport with the children in the mission and all seems peaceful until a messenger from the Vatican arrives and plans on closing their mission because of a treaty with Portugal. De Niro does not like this and because he has a shadowy pre-Jesuit past of running guns, he plans to stage a fight for the mission. This is probably the extent of the action that can be found in the film.

    It was shot on location with stunning visuals supplied by the cinematographer Chris Menges who won an Oscar for his work. The music by Ennio Morricone is also one of the more well known pieces of film music out there if you get a chance give a listen to the track called “Gabriel’s Oboe” do so.

    Oh yeah, it also won the Palme D'or.

    Strong visuals, an excellent musical score, and the ever-awesome Liam Neeson are all well and good, but they can sometimes pale in comparison to two men atop a mountain waterfall in the middle of the South American jungle attempting to defend a mission that has saved both of their lives.

    Next up … ninety.